I'm On The Top Of The World ....

It never fails to amaze me just how fast I can go from one extreme to another in this crazy life. One day I'm sitting in the corner of the shrink's office, messily pouring my misery into snotty tissues, and the next day I can't sit still, running around like tomorrow won't have enough hours (it won't).

Amazing ~ or something. As ridiculous as it sounds, mania has it's perks.

Since I didn't manage to sleep decently (again!), I was awake at 2:30, and for most of the night. I managed to dose off after my husband left the bedroom at 5:30, but at 6:15, I was up. By 7, I was dressed, and out of the house, getting coffee, reading the paper, picking up stocking stuffers, and getting the car serviced. Then I went home ...

At home I put everything into the appropriately named bags, thoroughly vacuumed the house, which required cleaning the filter about 12 times (literally), threw out excess bags and boxes, and got ready to clean the carpets. I managed to clean THREE DAMNED STAIRS ... then my excruciatingly expensive carpet cleaner crapped out. MAN, I was choked. However, the bottom three stairs were the dirty ones, so now they match the rest. There's some logic in there. Trust me. After I put everything away, I got a bucket of water and went up to hand-wash the spots I had pre-treated before I started ...

Three emails went out to important people who needed info on soccer, and three phone calls about cars were made. I think somewhere in this day, I ate. As I write this, I'm looking at the cushions on the other sofa and thinking that they really need to be moved, and after dinner I'm going to start baking ...

The difference between this type of activity and other people having this type of activity is that:

I cannot stop. Others do this because they need to get it done. I do it because I need to move. I cannot stop. I could have waited on any number of things that I'm doing, and God knows some of it could wait, and I could sit and go through it, organize it better, and leave it for tomorrow. Alas, it's not that easy. This is the joy (or hell) that is mania.

And I'm tired. My bones ache from stretching on the stairs as I cleaned them. The vacuuming I told you about took two hours because I can't do it, "just a bit", or "just enough". It has to be perfect. In retrospect, it's probably a good thing the shampooer died, or I'd be doing it til 10pm. Every time I stand up, I hesitate, stooped over like an old man for a few moments, as my muscles take the time they need to stretch back out into a normal state. It ain't pretty.

Tomorrow? Who knows. I might be right back in the toilet, sitting curled up in the corner, staring sightlessly out into the yard. For now, I best get back to work while I can... c'est la vive.

Meggy