And Your Little Dog Too

You know what I hate about support groups?

They suck you in. They suck you in with guidelines and rules and
sticky notes and administrators and moderators.

They give long, drawn out, detailed posts of what IS and IS NOT
acceptable. They will list LINK after LINK of all these ways to
improve your mental health, like ten forms of twisted thinking, rules
of engagement, five steps, the four agreements, etc. So you read. You
read and read and read. And people post ad nauseum. And you read their
posts and you think, "These people are FEKKED". But so am I. So you
keep reading.

Some of the people are more fekked up than even YOU are...so you keep
reading. And you get all these fabulous answers from the moderators
and administrators who will guide them through their hardships hour
after hour after hour, even though some of these people are either a)
completely dense, or b) certifiably insane.

So after you've been there a while, you start answering questions,
too. You get all cocky from listening and think, hey, I can help! And
you answer, too! And you start feeling better about yourself and your
chest puffs out and you think, DAMN! I might just be GETTING somewhere
with this incrediby SCREWED UP disease that's FUCKING THE LIFEBLOOD
outta me. And you allow yourself to hope. **Take note here: mistake #1**

So you go out on a limb and think you might be ready to ask them to
help you with some of the serious issues you have regarding your own
life. So you go ahead and post.**Take note here: mistake #2** And low
and behold, some really interesting things happen. First off, the
venerable administrators and moderators that were so visible in
helping the idjits simply disappear. No answers for you! And the
answers I get relate less to the questions at hand, and more to do
with a desecration of my personality, which apparently is found sadly
lacking and is summed up as "a jerk". But me, never being one to give
up easily, goes back again, and posts yet again.....another long,
well-thought-out post, **mistake #3**, hoping that people will see
that they've seen something wrong, and that they're missing the big
picture and that I need some answers....

But it doesn't happen.

And I'm left sitting here, in the "SUPPORT FORUM" where I've been
labelled a jerk for one of my bpd behaviours which I've admitted to
because I'm working in order to change it. And not one of the
moderators nor Administrators has stepped in to make a statement.

Which leads me to think...

That the eleven years that my ex husband spent telling me I was shit
under his heal...was probably right.

God Bless Support Forums.